Would you have a better tomorrow?

Because free web-based email is, in my opinion, required to leak *some* spam email into your inbox (and vice versa, so you're forced to check your spam), I have a beef with how they deal with email adverts. (By the way, is spam made of pork? or does it fall under a whole different "meat" category?)

You might share some of this. Here is my current top 5:

5. Free Dell laptop. I already have a free Dell laptop. Whom I love. But, question: How come they never offer a free Mac?

4. Viagra. I don't need it, and I am not interested in any man (off the top of my head, anyway) who needs it yet. (Hmmm, wait. Let me think that over...)

3. Porn. Do I really need to see what Paris, Miley, and other stars have done over the weekend, and with a weiner, or a dog, or with an entire football team? No. I've had a discussion with friends over the whole [Put name of school here] sex scandal enterprise, complete with "visual aids" (for discussion purposes, of course), and they all cater to men.

2. 40s Christian dating. I have nothing against dating. Most of the time, I have nothing against Christians, either. But 40s? C'mon! That's just fucking insulting. The only reason it falls to number two is (1) I've only received it once, and (2) a day later and ever since, I only got spam for 30s Christian dating. I always, and I do mean always, appreciate people who do their research. Which leads me to the next:

1. Penis enlargement. Last I checked, hey! I don't have one! And last I heard, you don't just "magically grow" one. But what galls me is that they can't even be bothered with market research. I am woman, hear me roar. And no, I am not interested in any man who needs it either. (Hmm, wait. (Ha!) This last statement can be construed 1.5 times over. Just like the ad claim.)


But. There have been a few gems, and luckily, this one was sent to my inbox:

Dear sir/Madam:

Please allow us to disturb your precious time! We are the Chinese biggest foreign trade wholesaler. the company mainly sells, the digital cameras, mobile, the LCD TV,PSP,Xbox, the Laptops Notebooks, the Digital Video, Mp4, GPS,Electronics toy,and so on.If you want to products, we can sell you our products. If you have time,please visit our website, Please look our products.We will give you a satisfying answer. we hope we can set up a good and long cooperation relationship with you.
this is our website; <http://www.zgdsyw.com>
MSN: zgdsyw18@hotmail.com
Mail: zgdsyw@zgdsyw.com
Thank you for reading our the message, Would you have a better tomorrow!
Cheers!


It sure beats "Live long and prosper", doesn't it?

Thank you for reading my the post. Would you have a better tomorrow, I say to you.