Free speech? Thank you very much!

[Test? Mic test. Go na tayo? Okay. Eherm.]

*****

Distinguished guests: all of you who need to be mentioned by name and title and affiliation, and of course, in proper order of importance; ladies and gentlemen, friends, Romans, etc... Good day.

[I am honored to be delivering this speech in front of you (or at least, my speech writer says so) blah blah blah blah...]

Working where I work now, the concept of "free speech" has changed dramatically. No, I am not talking about not being able to speak freely, nor about its consequences or possible abuses...

Where I work, "free speech" means exactly that: getting a speech for free. Or in my particular case, writing a speech for someone else, for free.

I am not a speech writer, ladies and gentlemen. I cannot pretend to write a speech especially when I will not be the one to deliver it, and at the very least, when I am not knowledgeable of the tone my speaker has, or wants to have. If I am not aware of her tone, how will I know what words to use? If I do not know the extent of her vocabulary, how will I know she will be able to pronounce, much less recognize, say, "minutiae" (which I myself learned to pronounce properly only recently) or whatever-the-fuck? (By the way, can I use fuck with this audience?)

Most of all, I hate other people putting words in my mouth, and I expect other people do, too.

But, there comes a time when one has risen to unimaginable heights of power that one can no longer be concerned with speaking for oneself. Power, they say, begets responsibility. However, I have learned that to whom great power is given, whom is free to give others all the responsibility.

Since I am not one of those in the heights of power--And let me tell you now, I suffer from vertigo, and earlier today had to change my shoes from 4-inch stilettos to 2-inch boots--I get all the responsibility. Well, maybe not all, as there are a lot of rungs in the ladder between where I stand at 5'5" (and then only in 2-inch boots, mind you), and the "unimaginable" level. Nevertheless, 'di ba? (Sorry, Romans, "'di ba" simply means "isn't it so".)

So. As my foresight in changing shoes shows, I, at least, have saved myself the disgrace of falling flat on my face. That doesn't mean, though, that should the higher-ups discover this blog, I won't be condemned to the depths of hell. Or, at the very least, fired. (Hmmm, I wonder if "fired" didn't originate from thoughts of jobless hell...)

Thank you very much, for your attention; for allowing me to express my opinion (and it really is mine. All mine. Muahahaha.) on this matter, and in this small gathering. Again, have a good day y'all!

*****

[Heard offstage: "PAKSHET! What do you mean Romans don't speak English?!]