Coup de grace.

I might have lost my mind, but let me try, okay? Here goes:

The problem with language is its communal logic. Language abides by rules that are first, and last, universal. I mean unbreakable. Shared, strong as links on a chain. First of course are the rules of spelling then grammar, and meaning--these are the initial links. Spelling must be agreed upon, vocabulary shared, then sentence structures. These are the first agreements to be formed for any communication to come through.

If it happens that these rules are broken, they are broken for a purpose, say, heightened, tightened meaning, flair. And thus the figures of speech. And it happens too that the breaking of the rules leads to a shared meaning, like an agreement or a contract. Then comes the idiom, the cliche. Like mending chain links, fences, sewing a tear on the net, embroidery. But whatever happens, in language, one must agree to agree. This is the fast rule.

You see, I was thinking earlier about sculpture. Or how I imagine sculpting to be. So I take this invisible clay in my hands and I think, I want it to say, "Bear". And the success of my sculpture lies in the agreement of what a bear looks like, which should pass the judgment of those who have seen an actual bear. Or if I had made something that that looked like a weight, then perhaps the viewer will go, "Ah, bear as in verb." But if I had made something that did not in any way resemble both bears, then I imagine my viewers will reject my "Bear".

But see, this is why I am not a sculptor. (For all I know, sculpting is not how I imagine it to be.) My clay is not clay, it is words. And unfortunately for me, language has a communal logic.

Do you understand what I'm trying to say?