After Hours

After Hours

The moment I shut the door
I drop the act, wipe off my makeup.
Only the bathroom mirror is witness
to the transformation.

Without the veil of color I look
entirely different, not so happy.
Old, unsure, struggling: a sitcom
aired too long that nobody liked.

I wash my face; the lips unpainted
look cold, bitter and bloodless;
while the brow is furrowed with lines
that are not part of the script.

In the mirror I practice happy faces
but the reflection is distorted.
I have to stop myself from checking
again: my doors are firmly locked.

*****

Having nothing to do, or wanting to do nothing, most of the time, I have come to schedule my days by what's on TV. Pathetic, I know. But I'm making up for lost time: during four years of college, plus two more working in Manila right after school, plus the year-and-a-half in Japan, I have been deprived--that's almost eight years of no TV.

Can you imagine? I've read so many books, it's unbelievable. Case in point: There used to be this Book Sale branch in front of Ateneo that shared unit space with Filbar's, right? I used to buy books there every week (Classics, comics, romance novels, children's books, NY Times bestsellers, Rolling Stone back issues, National Geographic... you name it, I bought it.) that I was chummy with lady who manned the counter--to the point that she'd keep books for me if I happened to come in to "browse" and see something I like but not have the money for it. After coming back from Japan, the minute I got back to Katipunan, I visited ol' Book Sale, and guess what? It was gone. Obviously, it was my business that had been keeping it afloat all those years.

Anyway. TV is what keeps me busy these days. And here's the stuff I've been crazy about.

House came strongly recommended by a couple of friends. I watched my first episode last Monday, and it was great! House made me burst out laughing... before I could completely catch what exactly it was he said that was so funny! Which of course, would make me run the quip through my head again, and make me laugh all over again. His humor is that dry.

Also, I have just been watching Grey's Anatomy, and Patrick Dempsey is hot, hot, hot! I always thought he looked like Sean Penn, and as much as I love bad-boy Sean, I never had this reaction to him... Oh boy, I'm embarrassing myself here. But, God! I would love to be alone in an elevator with him, too! And if the title is indicative of any future exploration of Grey's anatomy by the hottie surgeon, then woohoo! I'd be willing to go under the knife, too.

I know, I know, this is beginning to sound just like the kind of blog I promised myself it wouldn't--the journal-ly, so-this-is-what-I-did-today kinda thing... But I can't help it! I seem to have all this excess energy that I can't seem to shake--and yeah, I know why. My sex life sucks. (My, my. It seems it isn't only Dr. House's humor that's dry around here...)

*****

Remember my previous post about two long lost friends, spanning bridges and scaling walls? This is why most of the time, you let sleeping dogs lie: The one lost through time and distance hasn't replied yet, but I heard he's really happy to have heard from me. The one where I scaled the wall, well, she replied, and... let's just say I got to the other side, and got slapped, big time. So I did my little dignified parting shot (with verbal slaps and a curse put in for good measure), and I've decided for now to lock that door and throw the key very very very far away.

I don't know if this is the right decision. Bah, c'mon, I'll say it: It wasn't the most mature of decisions, but damn, kick your sweet loving poodle long enough and it'll bite your ass, too. So, fuck it, yeah, I'm still mad about it.

Remember, it's better to let sleeping dogs lie. At least, 50% of the time.

*****

Oops. Let's go back to TV, it's a safer topic, I think.

I am rooting for the San Antonio Spurs to win another championship this year (Go, Spurs, go!). For them to successfully do this, it'd be a big help if they clinch the #1 spot in the Western Conference. However, the Dallas Mavericks, being also in the Southwest division, seem set to take that position from the Spurs. So far, the Mavs are only a game behind the Spurs in the standings, and it doesn't help that they've been on a 5-game winning streak, while the Spurs lost two straight of their five consecutive games at home. Both teams have four games left in the season. From now on, I'm watching the Mavs' games, too.

I'll be rooting for the other team.