How to be Cold

Perhaps you have read
too many romance novels,

that is why you tend to
overemphasize and dramatize
emotions. Pain, lust, joy:

Your chest doesn’t just hurt.
You have to have a fist
squeezing your heart.

You cannot simply be horny—
your fingertips have to tingle
with desire, your skin hum.

You are not merely smiling,
rather rapture overflows and
floods your entire face.

And now you are tired, no
spent: passion, after all, requires
that you give and give and give.

But remember your science class.
Cold only exists in reference: a function
of being in contact with a hotter entity.

How, at a touch, at an instant
heat is transferred, absorbed,
sucked greedily into the frigid body.

But your fingers on my skin
disregard this hunger for warmth, ignore
the desperate need for equilibrium,

register nothing, but
the difference in temperature.

who's afraid of the big bad wolf?

is it just me, or do things (imagined, hoped for, etc) seem more real once you've told someone else? take having a crush on someone... the giggly, giddy, generally stupid feeling you get around that person doesn't really exist until that moment you tell someone else that you like the guy. or when you make a promise to yourself--aren't promises to oneself easier to break than promises to other people? (and this is just wrong, but that's another story.)

so. for my first post of the year, i've decided to share my new year's resolutions (otherwise known as promises-to-oneself), so that i really really really stick to them. i guess, i'm promising you, whoever you are, and asking you to help me keep these promises. and thus, i'm making you a little bit responsible for my actions this year! (insert evil laughter here.)

okay, here they are:

1. be honest and up front about everything at all times to everyone, but especially to myself.
2. invest only in those relationships that are meaningful to me.
3. do my best at everything (job/project/commitment) i take on.

i suppose, these resolutions don't really make sense unless you know me well, or i explain myself, but that's not really my style. besides, ask yourself, do you really care?

and really those three statements above can be summarized into one main goal-for-the-year, which is to minimize bullshit and drama in my life. you see, 2005 was a pretty good year for me in the sense that i learned a lot about myself. but with all those life-lessons and god-questions and hallmark-moments (all documented in my past-life-blog), i also got sucked into a big-ass quicksand of complications. so, this year, i'm simplifying.

so, who's afraid of the big bad wolf?